If you’ve been working out what you need to do to get closer to your goals, and if you’re like me, you make lists.
I love the action of manually getting to tick off things or take a big red pen and cross off things in my “to do” list.
Something that I’ve started to do, which has been more helpful than a “to do” list, has been instead, a “stop doing” list. I want share this concept with you today.
A stop doing list are things you instinctively know that are NOT moving you forward. It is the elimination of habitual things you may do, that aren’t serving you. You know what these things are.
In this week’s video, I’m going to help you create your “stop doing” list to get you closer to your goals.
How are you going “upstream”?
If you are an Abraham Hicks fan like me, you may have heard their definition of swimming upstream. Swimming upstream is going against the current, and instead of following the flow, we work against it.
We admire people that “work hard”. We’ve been told over and over again that there is no gain without pain. It’s painted a picture for us that in order for us to achieve what we want in life, we have to put in “hard work”.
Now that is not to be confused with work that could challenge us. Everyone loves a challenge. In fact, we can crave it (I know I do). But it shouldn’t feel like angst, suffering, and pushing.
We think the formula for success requires stress, anxiety, and pain, because of what’s been told to us. However, the things that are MEANT for us, are ones that feel in alignment with ease. Because we may be conditioned to aim our radar at things that feel difficult in order to receive success, we may be blind to the opportunities that are right for us just because it doesn’t give us the pain.
Make a list of things you do constantly that seems to get you nowhere
You know the things you do that self sabotages? Make a list of these things.
Perhaps it’s your thoughts, or your internal language. It could be you complaining all the time about “what ifs” or talking to people about what isn’t working rather than what could work. Is it getting you anywhere?
What do you keep thinking about but never doing anything about it? What is constantly a recurring thought of an idea or an opportunity that you never make a move on, and then get frustrated about?
It could also be things that you keep saying “yes” to when you really don’t want to. Or things you may say “no” to but you should’ve, and you only said it because you’re afraid (but really really want to do it).
Stop over thinking, start doing. Thinking over and over again about the thing that keep you up at night isn’t going to solve it or move it forward. But doing something, even a small bite sized step on getting something clearer for you, or asking for help, or learning about the unknown, well, that would definitely change the outcome for you.
Want help in getting clear on your goals of creating a more fulfilling life and career that doesn’t make you hate Mondays? I have a 30 day roadmap for you (click here).
Commit to a new way of behaving
Everything that feels comfortable, whether it’s helping you or not, is habitual. But like all habits, it can be changed.
You need to create new habits to help yourself behave differently. And once you do it consistently and long enough, you’ll start to take on a new way of behaving, and start getting what you want.
Make a commitment to trial new habits by day, week, or month. Practice doing small things. If you tend to complain a lot, every time you catch yourself, be kind, but change what comes out of your mouth. Refuse to vent if you don’t need to. Refocus your thoughts and energy on what you CAN do about it, rather than what you can’t control.
Every time you catch yourself doing something that doesn’t make you feel good, pivot, and be kind to yourself. You wouldn’t yell at a child doing something wrong for the first time. So don’t do that to yourself.
Change in general isn’t easy. And changing our behaviour of how we do things when we’ve been doing it for so long can be a process. But know that once you set that intention in motion to make those positive changes, you will naturally gain new habits.
What are you going to “stop doing”?
So what are you going to stop doing? Take out a pad of paper, and you can start writing it like this:
I’m going to stop doing………, and start doing………
Keep going until you get it all out. This trains your brain to create new thoughts and behaviours to get you where you want to go, instead of hindering you and keeping you where you are.
Then every week, pick ONE thing you want to change in your habits. And then pick another. And then another. I promise you are going to start seeing a change in your life. And it may be subtle at first. It may be that you feel better every day. You don’t attract unwanted situations. Or you make decisions more clearly and confidently.
Do this and you’ll be in control, as you’re the only pilot of your life flight.
P.S. If you find today’s video helpful, please forward it to a friend, colleague, or anyone you think that could benefit. And of course, comment below to speak directly to me and I would love to support you 🙂